Too much of everything

ridiculous rating

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

This movie combines long periods of people walking in silence with a plot that doesn't make any sense. The result? An almost unwatchable mess.

I primarily checked out The Astro-Zombies because of The Misfits track which shares the same (or very similar) title. This film is, in a word, terrible. The pacing is excruciating, and when anything does happen, it is so badly acted out that it is just laughable, and not in a good way. The plot is paper thin, and the "Astro-Zombie" scenes are incredibly hammy. The titular "Zombie" is just some dude in a plastic mask. This is a B-Movie I know; a world where villains are often just dudes in plastic masks, but it is so casually obvious, with no apparent care or attempt to make it seem less obvious. For the first half of the film I was completely lost in regards to the plot. The mad scientist and his cliché hunchback assistant are nauseatingly boring to watch, but the strangely beautiful Tura Satana keeps things mildly interesting as the enigmatic villain, even though she can't seem to fire a gun without posing like a complete buffoon. Appalling, but a small part of me wants to see the sequel, for reasons that I cannot even explain to myself...

In the past I have actually liked some Ted V. Mikels movies because they still had a certain charm and cult potential to it but this movie is however simply unwatchable. It's just that bad! Thing with this movie is that it really takes you back to the days of Z-grade science-fiction movies from the '50's. The kind of stuff Ed Wood himself used to make but this movie is even all the more shocking, since it actually got made in the late 60's.It really is an incredibly sloppy made film, that is horribly directed and has some serious lacking storytelling in it. I can't even tell what this movie is about, since it's being such an huge mess and I actually honestly had no idea what was going on, for more than half of the time. Scene's seem to go on forever, while they really have no right to do so. There are even scenes in this movie that seem to build up to something but in the end do absolutely nothing. The movie is already quite short, with its 90 minutes of running time but it really should had been way shorter, though I doubt that that would had made this a good movie. Even the acting and dialog seems to be a throwback to the horrible bad movies from the '50's. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that movie was actually something Ted V. Mikels had written in the '50's already!And for a movie named "The Astro-Zombies", there are actually surprising little 'astro-zombies' in it. There is no real action or entertainment in this movie and the title only seems to have been picked to fool the audience and to get some people to see it, since it has little to do with the actual movie it seems. The 'astro-zombies' that are still in this movie are quite laughable looking. They are all wearing Halloween type of alien masks, that obviously are far from convincing looking.A real shame John Carradine's career had to end with these type of movies, after having such a great start of his career. Luckily though not an awful lot of people watch these type of movies and no one should also ever watch this one! 2/10http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

A bunch of Vitalis-laden slugs sit around a wood-paneled office and chat, including the drunk as a skunk Wendell Corey. Tura Satana sits around in a spectacular outfit and looks incredibly bored. John Carradine shleps around his lab with Igor and talks at length about how Astro Zombies work. Occasionally someone is shot or garden-weaseled to death, sometimes by a guy in a skull mask. In one scene a woman is sitting around and the door opens and she gasps but nothing happens, but the irony is that it would have been more of an inversion if something DID happen. In between lines there are excruciatingly long passages of people wandering around and fidgeting. There are also a lot of cars driving around, and even in broad daylight the exteriors all seem to have been pushed three stops. At the end Carradine is shot and Satana is electrocuted, inspiring the cop to muse, "Well, there's one basic element of human life that can never be removed - the emotions!" We're in Phil Tucker territory here, folks.